Humility vs. Self-Love
11.16.09
According to Dictionary.com here’s the definition of “humble”
–adjective
1. not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.
2. having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc.: In the presence of so many world-famous writers I felt very humble.
3. low in rank, importance, status, quality, etc.; lowly: of humble origin; a humble home.
4. courteously respectful: In my humble opinion you are wrong.
5. low in height, level, etc.; small in size: a humble member of the galaxy.
–verb (used with object)
6. to lower in condition, importance, or dignity; abase.
7. to destroy the independence, power, or will of.
8. to make meek: to humble one’s heart.
Origin:
1200–50; ME (h)umble < OF < L humilis lowly, insignificant, on the ground. See humus, -ile
I keep seeing the word "humility" being tossed around and I've got something to say about it. Humility is over-rated.
In my opinion, the true essence of humility is to understand that we do not exist in a vacuum. While we are responsible for our own destinies and our own accomplishments, we've had help along the way.
However, to many people, being humble means to not take credit. To not boast. To not congratulate yourself for a job well done. Self-love seems to be looked at as a bad thing, and it's not.
I think the reason for this is because so many of us act as if we love ourselves by boasting and being arrogant and acting as if we're better than everyone else. When in reality, the people who act that way really DON'T love themselves. It's called over-compensating. Arrogance is NOT self-love. It is a cover up for the true feelings of inadequacy deep within.
However, I notice people saying that so and so should be more humble. This person seems self-important and arrogant, etc. When, in reality, that person is showing self-love and acknowledging his or her success in a healthy way.
I think the word humble should be removed from the dictionary because there's just too much confusion around the word. Being humble is seen as a good thing. But why? Because it's the opposite of being arrogant and overly boastful? Often times, people are expected to be humble in order to make everyone else feel better!!
We feel jealous of someone who seems to have it all, so when they participate in self-depreciation it makes them more likable? Where is the balance?
To say, "I am very successful and have been blessed with many talents. I'm so grateful for all the help I've had along the way. So many people contributed to this success and I appreciate them." Is that humble enough?
Where is the separation between the fine line of self-love and arrogance? And the line between respect for the fact that we're all connected, and the "humility" of self-depreciating behavior?
Tags: . arrogance, humble, humility, self-love
